THE BENEFITS OF A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

Over the last couple of weeks we’ve investigated the value of loving others.  Actually we found out that we already received the reward ahead of time.  God loved us first, so that we could love others.   Can you think of a better deal?  It’s like getting paid and then doing the task.  It’s like winning the lottery and then being encouraged to buy a ticket.  It’s opposite of how we operate on a human level of a work then reward system.   It’s all God!

Then last week we looked at the awesome benefits of having a Christ centered family.  One benefit was being able to see our children as God’s possession and not ours.  Our role is to help our children learn to trust and follow God by teaching them to trust and follow us as parents.  We saw that the family was supposed to reflect how God loves His children and not how we may have been loved by our parents.  We learned that God is a much better role model than the best human father or mother. 

Remember, I spoke about this teaching series being like a funnel coming down to a finer conclusion.  Everything we began with must still be true as we venture down the funnel.  Today I want to explore the benefits of a Christ centered marriage.  Maybe you’re not married or never plan to be married.  This message is still critically important for you to grasp as you can spread the word to others, who plan to be married, about God’s directives.  Maybe you’re struggling in your marriage or your marriage has failed.  Again this message is not intended to bring condemnation but rather to help set a goal for all of us to shoot for.  This room contains no perfect marriages so lets simply listen to God’s guidance so we can enjoy His rewards.

It seems pretty easy for me, now, to understand why marriage without Christ is wrought with potential trouble.  Selfishness, independence and a rejection of the true source of love make it impossible to ultimately succeed in marriage.  People who are merely in physical union with someone else are still far short of the power to thrive martially.  People who are unwilling to let go of their own plans and choose instead to join together in one effort to be something brand new are destined for division.  

The great tragedy is that people today are experiencing fractured marriages at an alarming rate.  We’ve made divorce a social obligation if things get uncomfortable.  Staying together with someone who has offended you or deviated from your plan is for fools, according to our new world order.  Even Christians are seemingly not able to escape the ravages of torn marriage relationships when they get off course.  So, how do we avoid such a train wreck?  

Let me take just a few minutes and paint a picture of what inviting Christ into your marriage would look like.  I want to remind you that I’m not talking about adding more of that good old time religion.  I’m not telling you to add some religious rules to your life.  I’m speaking about an authentic Christian experience taking place in your relationship with your spouse or spouse to be.

It’s best when both husband and wife choose at the same time to yield to God’s best.  In fact if you’re not married, the Bible warns us against marrying someone who is not a devout follow of Christ.  The union of both people who submit to God’s plan and purpose is filled with rewards.  I have however seen a few cases (my own included) where only one person in the marriage is a Christ follower and great blessing come to the home.  The power of God to bless is enormous. (1 Corinthians 7)

The Message: 1 Peter 3:1-4   …The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition.   

Let’s get back to the goal.  When the union is about two people serving the same God toward the same end, then the reward of harmony is experienced.  Invite and encourage your spouse to join you in your quest to know God.  Don’t dictate, but rather lead by example and with patience. 

1 Peter 3:15   …But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone (including your spouse) who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,   

Open the pages of scripture together and search the truth that is relevant to your joint relationship all the while avoiding judgment and sin counting.  Look for creative ways to hear each other pray; at mealtime, before bed or any other time.  Prayer is the language of the heart and can speak volumes.  Whatever you do, don’t compete in prayer or intimidate in prayer.

The Message : 1 Peter 3:7   …The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground.    

The next thing is to look for ways to serve your spouse.  Don’t argue who is the head of the house without first serving one another.   The love dare of the “Fireproof” movie.

Ephesians 5:21   …Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.   

Luke 6:37-38   …“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.  Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”    

The reward for giving is being given to.  It’s the farmer’s approach of planting seed in order to achieve a harvest.  What kind of seed are you planting?

I know some will fail, but I’m called to set the goal to pursue, even knowing that some will fail.  In the same way we tell our students to shoot for the best grade available even though we know not every one gets the top honors.  It’s a goal.  So the goal is for both of you to want the rewards of a Christian marriage.

Benefits of a Christian marriage: Protection from immorality.  This is a huge benefit that many marriages are missing out on.

1 Corinthians 7:1-5   …Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.  The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.  The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.  Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.   

All that we’ve listed for a Christian Family and loving the world around us plus…
Harmony, peace, support, encouragement, strength, companionship, affection and much more.

Don’t grow weary of the pursuit because the truly worthwhile things are worth the effort.

Notes from Pastor Pasch's February 22, 2009 message: to get a free CD of the complete message, contact Christ's Family Church at (651) 437-2340.