WHY IS RAISING A FAMILY SO HARD?

Last week we spoke about the reality of drowning in life in the areas of finances, emotions and relationships.  God’s plan was to encourage you to ask for assistance in your life storm.  I also wanted you to see the value in walking alongside others of like faith so that if you stumble you have somebody close by to help you.  Remember God’s word tells us that wisdom is found in those who take advice.

This week I want to tighten in on a specific challenge many are faced with, raising a family.  When we think about how our world looks at family today we must conclude that it is all upside-down.  They see families as merely a room full of people who live in the same space.  They need not be related, committed to their respective group future or seen as regarding each other above outside forces.  In fact families take a back seat to friends, coworkers, celebrities and sports team members.  The family is under fire.

In our world, you can get someone pregnant and never become part of a family.  You can decide to stop a life, if you don’t want a family.  One of the worst cases of perverted family is the growing dependency of young people on gangs for the family experience.  They learn to do evil for their family and shoot rival family members.  The further we move from a Christ centered life the further the family deteriorates.

Family was God’s idea and not man’s.  Maybe your family is not as ideal as you would like it to be.  Maybe you long for it to be what God intended but can’t see how that can happen.  Please listen to God’s design and help me spread the word about God’s plan regarding family.  

1Tim 3:1-5 - Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer (shepherd/pastor), he desires a noble task. Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)

This verse describes what a godly pastor should look like.  Every home is a shadow of the church and has its shepherd and flock.  A healthy family is identified as a loving, caring, self-sacrificial father; a nurturing, kind, understanding role model of God’s tenderness mother; and children who regard and honor their parents as teachers and examples to emulate.

I’ve made a few people upset over the years with teaching that children should not be first in any home.  I state that spouses are called of God to love each other before they love their kids.  Spouses can help their kids the most by modeling Christ and loving each other.

In a world where individualism is king, the family is placed on the chopping block-every man, woman and child for themselves.  Husbands neglect their wives and allow them to think poorly of themselves.  Wives feel compelled to knock their husbands down a few notches and children think they are the teachers and the parents must allow them free reign.  This sad reality is killing the homes of tens of thousands across our globe.  

I’ve labeled this message “why is it so hard to raise a family” on purpose.  Families are not homes that center on the wants of the children like we are told in our culture.  Families are a place where love is modeled, love is taught, love is caught and love is practiced.  Families are environments where failure is part of the process but victory in Christ is the goal.  Families identify authority and leadership as a needful component of any healthy environment.  Correction is part of making sure we are on the right path that God has ordained for us and winning is accomplished as a team.

Gen 18:18-19  …Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation, and all nations on earth will be blessed through him. For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, so that the LORD will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.”…

Families are messy.  People in them have different viewpoints and different dreams and yet they need to learn how to live in harmony.   Goals and struggles are best dealt with in the family environment and not through the individual.  Maybe your family is already fractured.  Don’t loose hope.  God will step in and be your father and mother for a season in order to teach you how to be part of a healthy family unit.

Ps 27:10   …Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me. Teach me your way, O LORD; lead me in a straight path …

Tragically, in today’s world, harmony is accomplished by removing the rub.  If someone won’t do what you want, then just remove him or her or alter your perspective to accommodate them.  This is not harmony.  Harmony is when we all sing the same song even though we have different parts.  A body works in harmony though it’s made up of many unique components.  The church must work in harmony as having one voice even though it is filled with many different people.

Think for just a moment why raising a family is so hard.  It is simply because God designed the family to be the place where He would be most effectively modeled in human form.  Many are getting their family counsel from improper sources.  Satan has been on a determined course to destroy the family.  Who are you listening to?

Above notes are from Pastor Pasch’s August 2, 2009 message.  To get a free CD of the complete message, contact Christ’s Family Church @ 651.437.2340.